Title: I'm sitting in a Japanese restaurant
I'm sitting in a Japanese restaurant on brunswick street. I've eaten some salad and sipped miso soup and a small pot of hot sake wine. I'm waiting for Liat to finish her creative art and dance class. She is just around the corner, upstairs, on the third floor. I helped her to set up the class space about an hour ago. It's now 8.30pm and class finishes in half an hour.
So I am entertaining myself with writing short messages to friends, looking through old contact folders and now this. What is this?
This morning I arose alone. Washed my face and made my bed. I organised my little books by the bed and arranged the pillows and sat on them. I wrapped my blanket around my body and took a deep breath.
The first moments of settling down to a two hour meditation are so dramatic. Is everything in place? Am I ready? Start, just open your mouth, say, 'here'. Here today. I'm inside a special frame of time and place. Staying open to the miracle of a new beginning and fresh intentions.
I ask myself, 'what day is it?' and what is holding me and what are my responsibilities and how do i feel? I wonder what the meditation might become. I look into its influence on me. I extend that inquiry to my broader life patterns. What do I choose to fill my experience with?
Speaking with Liat last night, I mentioned that relationships are most likely the most influential experiences that we have. What would a community of intentional relationships become with time? What would their culture look like after many generations?
Understanding oneself is a life long journey. Full of suprises, twists and turn arounds. We change and transform our beliefs willingly when we believe in a greater reality than our own. Relationships give us that opportunity. Love is becoming real in the presence of another.
I'm so in love with becoming that I'm lost and found in a flux of perpetual reorientation. It is safe enough to enter but I dare not try to claim full control. I am given over to become and discover my experience with an open heart or suffer the reflection of stubborn selfishness.
Time is up. Thank you for your attention.
2006 Oct 16th
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